My old bear has had a lot of hugs over 20+ years. He's been washed and pegged on the line by his ears countless times, and partially restuffed once. His fur is scruffy, and he has a little bald patch on his bottom. But, even after all that wear, Bloomies is still the only bear that Mari will cuddle at night.
The naked hand.
The vital 2mm.
The embossed kangaroo.
The break.
The long, long morning.
The sniffles.
The flood.
Whoever it is out there, you can put the voodoo doll away now. Yes, you. Really, it's just not funny anymore.
First,
it didn't start too badly. Two weeks ago, I lost the gold ring that James bought me nearly six years ago, but I'm fairly certain it's around here somewhere. Then our food processor lost 2mm off a vital piece of plastic which rendered the whole thing useless. Yes, annoying (I use that thing a lot), but not devastating. Then what was it? Oh yes, the car. Want to argue with a kangaroo at 80km an hour? Sure you'll probably win, but you'll be limping. New bonnet and grill? $1000 thanks. Then the bad one, the really bad one. I feel bad making light of it really. It probably deserves it's own paragraph at least, but here we go. Last sunday, unrelated to the kangaroo incident, James completely ruptured his achilles tendon. Yes, you may wince. It hurt. It still hurts. A lot. I won't even go into the medical saga (that's another blog entry and tempting law suit entirely), but lets just say it took five days to get him operated on, and the recovery period is, well, impressive. Nine months before he can use that foot. Nine months. On crutches. And then it'll need continuing physio and support. So that's the big one, but that's not all, oh no. The morning after we got him home from hospital, after all the stuff that goes along with surgery and hospital stays, and oh yes, a night sharing the bed with Mari, coughing, and struggling to breathe through a cold, I stumbled out to the kitchen to make coffee. Now, our espresso machine has been a little noisy lately, but I was okay with that. It hadn't woken any children or taken off on a spontanious trip to Mars via our kitchen ceiling. But that morning, of all mornings, it made a bigger noise, followed by a pop, a hiss of steam, and a cascade of water out of the front panel. ... "So, your coffee maker died, at least it's under warranty, right?" you might ask. Let me just remind you; this is me, Lorena, you know, me? That stuff running through my veins? It's caffeinated. Permanently. And my only source of decent coffee exploded. Don't get me started on the sequence of events that ruled out the percolator (stale embedded coffee stains), plunger (broken), and god forbid instant (mysteriously tastes like mushrooms).
So now, just as the icing on the cake, along with James in plaster, and Mari with a hacking cough and snot galore, we have Rosa (we can't forget her can we?) with raging gastro. You knew there had to be a kicker didn't you?
So. Not funny. Stop it now, please.
Sincerely,
Lorena
As heard on Playschool radio. You know, for kids under 5.
Humpty Dumpty, Mary had a Little Lamb, Baa Baa Black Sheep... etc.
Then, "Something or other in a clapped out kombie with stoned zombies (or something like that) ... where women blow and men chunder." Ahem.
Something about cute fluffy ducks, then...
"The first pub we come to, it's there we'll have a spree,
And everyone that comes along it's 'Come and drink with me!'"
Fluffy animals!
And something about sexy macarana on the dancefloor.. No wait let me give you the full lyrics.
When I dance they call me macarena
and the boys they say that I´m buena
they all want me, they can´t have me
So they all come and dance beside me
move with me jam with me
and if your good i take you home with me
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena Eeeh, macarena
A-Hai 2x
Now don´t you worry ´bout my boy friend
the boy who´s name is Nicorino
I don´t want him, ´cause sent him
he was no good so I - hahaaaa
Now, come on, what was I supposed to do ?
He was outta town and his two friends were soooo fine
Ref. 2x
Claps Ahai Ahai
Keys
Ref. 2x
Lach
Come and find me, my name is Macarena
always at the party,
´cause the chicos think I´m buena
come join me, dance with me
and all your fellows cat hello with me
Ref. 5x
But lets face it, I'd play my kids death metal backwards if they danced to it.
