Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Google What?

Guess what people are searching for when they end up here? Erudite, intelligent lady-about-town? Mrs Clever Pants? No.... They're Googling "Naughty Blogger" and end up right here. That's right.

Go on, spank me.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 7 or 8

How many days is it? Something like that. Anyway, I'm finished. Did I do my 500 words a day, or 3500 in total? Nowhere near it. 2376 in fact. What I did do was start two short stories, and develop an idea for a new project.

So. This week, the challenge is to write four publishable articles of 400 words each. I won't be checking in every day (Phew, I hear you say) but rest assured I'll be squirreling away at the keyboard.

Thanks for tuning in! And, do stay tuned for the next installment of the short story. You know I won't leave you hanging.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 6

Did you miss me yesterday? Here are 370 words. More later I hope. God, it's scary putting up a very fresh first draft for all to see.


The next day, I asked F about you. He said you were staying up at the convent, which startled me no end, but he was quick to point out that it had been converted into a hotel some years ago. I can't remember how I managed to get up there; what excuse I used. I spent all afternoon in the lobby, drinking coffee after coffee, trying not to look too conspicuous, waiting for a glimpse of you. I thought I saw you a couple of times, but was always caught out by a different face, darker or sharper or more pronounced, and never yours. I finally gave up. It was days before I saw you again. Agonising days. I looked for you in every woman I saw. It was only when the vivid shock of your beauty was fading, and believe me I scrambed to keep you clear in my mind, that I saw you again. I was sitting alone in a tea shop, pretending to write in my note book and wishing my english breakfast was whiskey. You walked past and I jumped half out of my seat. You must have caught the sudden movement out of the corner of your eye, because you turned and looked at me. Right at me. You must have lost sight of where you were going because you stumbled a little, endearingly, and walked on into the sunshine, your arms and skirt swinging in rhythm. I jumped up, threw too much money on the table and, I’m ashamed to say, followed you. You never knew this, but I stayed behind you all the way up High Street. When you stopped to gaze in a shop window I stopped two shops down and gazed too, usually at balls of bright fleecy wool, or a confusing array of kitchen gadgets. When you reached the edge of town and kept walking, I had to let you go. Of course, I would find you again. I had to know who you were and what made your dress swing like that. And to do that I would have to get you alone at a small table with nothing but new conversation and a bottle of B’s finest champagne.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 5

Today? Only 299 words. But that's not bad considering I've been out of the house all day. And it may add up to more by midnight tonight. I'm heading off to bed right now with my notebook and hot water bottle. I feel a bit like I'm cheating by not posting any of this writing, but they are all the draftiest of drafts. There are gaping holes and loud, creaking, faulty sentences. I can't even bring myself to show my own partner or mother.

I'm not that foolhardy. You'll just have to wait.

Update: Damn. I had nearly turned off the computer, but I could hear that little voice in my head hissing coward...! Ok, this little bit is the first two paragraphs of a short story I started today. This afternoon. A couple of hours ago. It's rough and it's corny, I know, but I hope it will lead somewhere else.

Copy/Paste/Publish. *cringe*

Dear M,

I don’t know how to start this letter. You were so full of life - I know, it’s a cliche - that it’s impossible to believe the rumours. Whispers, sombre conspiratorial mouths half hidden behind cupped hands. They say you are dying. It can’t be true. They talk of your visits to hospital, but I can’t believe them. M, are they lying? Mistaken? Are they talking of another M? I try to think of you, pinned under waffle blankets on a shifting metal bed; cold, labeled, all fluorescent green. Your faint freckles would stand out in that light, the flush on your cheeks would flare a hot red. But if you are ill, maybe your cheeks are pale, drawn; your eyes dull, your mouth pulling down at the corners with the gravity of your condition.

No! It’s impossible. I can only see you dancing, your face flushed with effort and delight, your eyes and mouth wide open and laughing. Oh, my M. I loved you. That night, all those years ago, I first saw you dancing alone and glowing with cheap ruby wine. In another life I would have thought to myself, “I’m going to marry that girl. Sweep her off her feet and dance her to bed.” It was impossible. That night I could not even speak to you. I was trapped at that sombre table, with K and that other couple. Who were they? The Kingstons? The Bartlets? I don’t know. I only saw you. Then you were gone my darling. As you walked out the door, with friends I think, still laughing, it was as though all the colour in the room had wound around you while you danced and when you left, you pulled it all out of the door behind you.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 4

Like a synopsis of what I'd be writing if I was writing out of my own experience this week??

"Mummeeeeeee, mummeeeeee. Watch meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!*SHRIEEEEEEEK* She's chasing meeeeeeee!!! AAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!! And then a short, overly poetic, late-night musing on the beauty of bubbles in a champagne glass."

But today, I managed 519 real words, and there's not an exclamation point to be found among them.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 3

What's the currency exchange like nowadays? Is a picture still worth a thousand words?

Really though? 80 words.

Monday, April 21, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 2

Note to self: Don't try and make up the last 200 words by writing a sex scene. It's harder than it looks. And no, I didn't just use that sentence in the story.

545 words.

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 1 (result)

Boy, am I glad I made that adjustment to the word count. After typing in an extra page I scribbled in my notebook last night, yesterday's total came up to (drum roll please...) 554 words; the first chapter of a short story (possibly novella). Phew.

Right. Chapter 2. Wish me luck.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

How Many Words Did I Write Today? Day 1.

I'm going to try and write 1000 words a day (emails don't count) for the next week and will document progress here. I won't promise to show you all those words here (Are you kidding? No way!) but I promise you a word count.

You, dear readers (hi mum!), are holding the firecrackers under my chair. Light them as you will.


Update: Do you know how long 1000 words is?? Make that 500. Between 500 and 1000.

Saturday, April 19, 2008